Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree.
Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was, "just up ahead."
One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."
Two brothers received a sled for Christmas. After they played in the snow for a half-hour, Billy was in tears.
Their father said, "John, I told you to let Billy use the sled half the time."
John replied, "I did! I used it going down and Billy used it going up!"
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
25... there's no 'L'...
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings...
One by one...
As each relative goes home.