holiday jokes
Favorite this joke The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package.
For example, Good 'n Plenty is now Not Bad 'N A Couple.
The $100,000 Bar is now the $27 Bite.
Then, of course, there's the new 2 Musketeers bar.
A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus.
The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why doesn't it have any antlers?"
Santa replied, "Well, there are several reasons that a reindeer might not have antlers. Some reindeer get their antlers late, some reindeer have their antlers broken off in a fight and some reindeer never grow any antlers at all."
The tourist moved closer for a better look and asked, "What happened to this one?"
Santa replied, from fifty yards away, "He was born a horse."
I told my wife that there is only one thing that scares me on Halloween.
My wife: Which is?
Me: Exactly!
An extremely vain sorceress zoomed into the local dollar store on her broom, fuming from head-to-toe. “Which one of you morons is responsible for putting my name on your product without my permission? I’m going to turn you into a toad!”
A shuddering young clerk bravely came forward— “I’m extremely sorry ma'am; I honestly thought Witch Hazel was an approved product.”
“You idiot,” screamed the hag. “I’m talking about the Barbie doll!”
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