holiday jokes

Category: "Holiday Jokes"
2 votes

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft, high fiber candy only.

7. Someone drops a candy bar in your bag and you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.

5. The door opens, you yell "Trick or..." but you can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You keep having to go home to use the bathroom.

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
$25.00 won 9 votes
 

He who drinks a fifth on the fourth...

May not be able to go forth on the fifth!

9 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$9.00 won 6 votes

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to being brought breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

Finally, the children called her to come downstairs. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

6 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing.

It’s on the house.

4 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |