holiday jokes

The wife and I were going on a holiday vacation, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television."

She said, "Why, will you get bored?"

I said, "No, the passports are on top of it."

“Are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” my friend asked.

“Yes. I’ve resolved to stop playing so much polo,” I remarked.

“Since when have you been playing polo?"

“Never. But I figured that is one resolution I could keep!”

My family likes to sing carols during the holidays. Alas, I have a cold this year, so when I offered to lead one of the carols, my cousin suggested that I sing away in a manger...

Far, far away, in a manger.

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?

Because the rest of the letters were not-E.