holiday jokes

Category: "Holiday Jokes"
0 votes

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up two sizes, that would've fit.

9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.

8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.

7. Well, well, well...

6. I really don't deserve this.

5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

0 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
3 votes

Elf: "Santa, we have finished making mints for every child."

Santa: "Mints?"

Elf: "Yeah, you said make Altoids."

Santa: "I said make all toys."

Elf: "Altoids!"

Santa: "All toys."

Elf: "Well this is a disappoint-mint."

3 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "eslippin" |
$10.00 won 8 votes
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Can you please stop asking Santa for the perfect woman???

I almost got kidnapped 3 times today!!!

8 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

Thanksgiving Day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church.

Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: "The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."

"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied. "Then why is their dad carrying that rifle?"

5 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |