What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklins.
The snowman decided he had to go to the barber to get all his icicles cut off.
He was tired of having frosted flakes.
SON: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
DAD: What's wrong with the one we live in?
SON: Huh?
DAD: Goodnight...
The wife and I were going on a holiday vacation, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television."
She said, "Why, will you get bored?"
I said, "No, the passports are on top of it."