The snowman decided he had to go to the barber to get all his icicles cut off.
He was tired of having frosted flakes.
SON: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
DAD: What's wrong with the one we live in?
The wife and I were going on a holiday vacation, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television."
She said, "Why, will you get bored?"
I said, "No, the passports are on top of it."
“Are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” my friend asked.
“Yes. I’ve resolved to stop playing so much polo,” I remarked.
“Since when have you been playing polo?"
“Never. But I figured that is one resolution I could keep!”