holiday jokes
Favorite this joke I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree.
Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was, "just up ahead."
One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."
Two brothers received a sled for Christmas. After they played in the snow for a half-hour, Billy was in tears.
Their father said, "John, I told you to let Billy use the sled half the time."
John replied, "I did! I used it going down and Billy used it going up!"
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
25... there's no 'L'...
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