holiday jokes
Favorite this joke We've just played the Christmas edition of Clue...
My wife murdered the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven!
8th Place
won
$7.00
Figuring that her 4 year old son Kevin was listening in the next room, Janet decided to tell her husband Don the latest Christmas gift she had bought the boy by spelling out the words "fire truck".
Don nodded and said, "I think it would be a great Christmas gift."
From the other side of the wall, they heard Kevin yell, "I don't want letters for Christmas!"
9th Place
won
$6.00
My goal for 2019 is to accomplish the goals set in 2018, which I should have done in 2017, because I promised to in 2016 and planned to do in 2015.
I just NEED to vent, I have had enough!!! I'll never help anyone again...EVER!!! The other day it was so cold out that I took a man into my home out of the kindness of my heart. I felt so sorry for him. Poor thing looked about froze out there in the cold. Couldn't even talk or move.
But the next morning he had just vanished. Not a word, no goodbye or even a thank you for sheltering him! The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor. That's the thanks I get for being good to people???
I want to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a hat and scarf, he has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Don't bring him into your house!! He will make a huge mess on the floor and then disappear!
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