Past Winners

My friend called me and said, "Meet me at the Vinyl Shop in 45."

I made it there in 33, which was Record Time!

Told my wife I was going to start smoking pot.

She said if I did she was going to leave me.

That's proof that it gets rid of aches and pains!

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.

The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"

The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.

In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.