Past Winners

A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, “The end of the world is tonight!”

I'm not positive, but I think it was Farmer Geddon.

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

Father to Daughter: It's a good thing you chose to takes accounting at school.

Daughter: How come?

Father: Because I want you to account for coming home at five am this morning.

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That'll teach them!" I replied.