Little Johnny went fishing with his dad, who had his fishing license on the back of his hat.
After a while they had caught no fish when Little Johnny offered the following suggestion: "Dad, turn your hat around so the fish can see your license."
Upon Little Johnny's graduation his Aunt gave him a graduation present.
Little Johnny: "Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present."
Aunt Vera: "Oh, that's nothing to thank me for."
Little Johnny: "That's what I thought but mother told me to thank you just the same."
"Jake," said his employer, "you've done a lot of good things since you've been here. I'm going to increase your pay five dollars a week."
"Thanks boss," replied Jake. "Would you mind putting that in writing?"
"Why? Don't you trust me?"
"I trust you boss," replied Jake. "It's my wife. If I say I got a five dollar raise, she will think it's really fifteen. I just need proof."