Past Winners

My brother was having a tough time losing weight.

Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”

Mike answered, “Want to split two?”

A man went to his doctor.

When the doctor entered the examining room, the man cried, “My hair is falling out! Can you give me something to keep it in?”

“Of course,” said the doctor reassuringly, and he handed the man a small box. “Will this be big enough?”

Young Husband (in the early morning): "It must be time to get up."

Wife: "Why do you say that?"

Husband: "Baby's fallen asleep."

A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."