Little Johnny's aunt was visiting and going on and on about her husband. "When he went overseas during the last war he carried my picture through every battle."
Little Johnny interrupted her with a question, "Did he use it to scare the enemy off?"
The boys were arriving back at the fraternity house after the summer vacation.
"What have you been doing this summer?" one asks another.
"Working in my dad's office, and you?"
"Yeah, I've been loafing around and doing nothing too."
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. ''When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held.''
''Well, "the young man replied, "in your job posting you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”
For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. "That was a nice shot," I commented.
"It's my passport picture," she revealed.
"Really?" I stared in complete amazement at my homebody grandma. "Where did you go?"
"Walgreens," she replied.