Past Winners

An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."

"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the busy waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time.

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."

I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said, “You have a wee cough?”

I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a week off!"

Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?"

His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."