How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to screw it most of the way and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
Two cowboys were lost in the desert when they spotted a tree draped in bacon strips.
"We're saved!" shouted one cowboy. But when he ran up to the tree, he was shot multiple times.
It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short.
Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails.
One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails.
"Great Idea, Honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."