Past Winners

Did you hear about the old man whose birthday one year lasted only one minute?

It was his sixty-second birthday.

Interviewer: "What would you consider one of your strengths?"

Me: "I perform under pressure..."

Interviewer: "Can you get give me an example?"

Me: (deep breath) "Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu ba de PRESSURE, pushing down on me..."

I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair right at the front, I pointed to my forehead.

"Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband.

"What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?"

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.

I said, “Wait, I can change!”