I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, "Are we having salad for dinner?"
"Yes we are, how did you know?" she asked.
I replied, "Because I can't hear the smoke alarm."
Doctor: Your DNA is backwards.
I wanted to do a pun on Sodium, but Na.....
"I'll have an H2O," says the first.
"I'll have an H2O too," says the second.
The second man dies.