A statistics major was completely hung over the day of his final exam. It was a True/False test, so he decided to flip a coin for the answers. The stats professor watched the student the entire two hours as he was flipping the coin... writing the answer... flipping the coin... writing the answer.
At the end of the two hours, everyone else had left the final except for the one student. The professor walks up to his desk and interrupts the student, saying: "Listen, I have seen that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn't even open the exam. If you are just flipping a coin for your answer, what is taking you so long?"
The student replies bitterly, as he is still flipping the coin: "Shhh! I am checking my answers!"
I took Buzz Lightyear Christmas shopping with me.
We went to Bed, Bath & Beyond!
Who is the meanest reindeer in Santa's herd?
Olive.
You've heard the song.
"Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names."
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one...
But when I went through her drawers and found a nurse's uniform, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I changed my mind.
I figure if she can't hold on to a job, she's not the one for me.