A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief ceremony in front of the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
A sailor didn't like anything he saw in the mess/food line, so he just picked up a large piece of chocolate cake. The cook asked, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, the rest of it doesn't look too appetizing."
The cook smiled and said, "Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, man, I'd appreciate it!"
The cook leaned over and cut the sailor's piece of cake in half.
To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grandfather got out. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help.
"Why, Grandfather," my friend said, "you've been going there for 40 years. How could you get lost?"
The old man smiled slyly. "Wasn't exactly lost," he admitted. "I just got tired of walking."