My friend seemed really down as we were having an after work visit to the local bar. After a few beers he finally shared his story. "I finally snapped. Last night while I was going over the bills, I discovered how much money my wife squanders and I hit the roof. I stormed into the bedroom and gave her a lecture on economy and thrift.”
“Did it help?”
“I’ll say. Tomorrow we’re selling my boat and sailing equipment.”
A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."