Judge: What is the prisoner charged with?
Lawyer: He is a camera enthusiast.
Judge: But you can’t put a person in jail because he is crazy about taking pictures.
Lawyer: He doesn’t take pictures, your Honor, just cameras.
"Latte" is French...
French for “you paid way too much money for coffee!”
"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes.