Past Winners

A woman posts her profile on a dating app. Two days later, she gets a message back, saying, "I would love to meet you, but I need to tell you that I am eight feet tall, covered in long, mangy fur riddled with fleas, and have glowing yellow eyes, razor sharp claws and long, drooly fangs. If you are still interested in meeting me, I'll be sitting on a bench in Central Park at five o'clock this afternoon."

The woman replies, "I would love to meet you, but could you please wear a red rose and some French cologne so I can recognize you?"

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlor to get a tattoo.

After it wouldn’t wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlor wasn’t there.

Life is like a helicopter.

I don't know how to operate a helicopter.

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.

"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.

Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."