Ashlea: I told you, I'm on a strict plant-based diet.
John: Don't worry, these burgers are all plant-based.
Ashlea: Mmm... this is delicious. What plant is this from?
John: Meat-packing plant.
Teacher: What is a synonym?
Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!
A dentist was about to leave his office with his golf bag on his shoulder, when the phone rang.
“Doctor,” the caller said, “I have a terrible toothache. Can I stop by your office in a few minutes?”
“Sorry,” replied the dentist, “but I have a previous appointment to fill eighteen cavities this afternoon.”
I was the best door-to-door security alarms salesman for several years running.
The trick was to level a brochure on the kitchen table if there was nobody home.