Past Winners

An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar...

... just kidding, they know better.

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living.

Little Mary says: ''My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”

Little Jack says: ''My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.”

All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.

Teacher says: ''Little Johnny, what does your Dad do?''

Little Johnny says: ''My Dad is dead.''

''I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?''

''He turned blue and fell on the carpet.''

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.

An exciting new discovery is about to take place. Mr. Bell and his assistant, a man named Watson, have been hard at work on Bell's new invention to transmit sound over wires.

As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver, he suddenly hears ... ring, ring , ring .... then....

"Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?"

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked.

“135,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, “Your height?”

“5 foot 4,” I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5 foot 2 inches. She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”