Past Winners

I’m working on a new typeface to be used for church bulletins...

I call it 'Baptismal Font.'

What do you get when you cross a Gorilla with a Rhino?

I don't exactly know either but would imagine you get an animal that often hear's the words, "Whatever you say, I'm golden with it!"

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart in The Villages, FL. just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies, especially around a Retirement Community.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you're being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though you coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"

"They said, 'Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?'"

My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.

I had some pretty big shoes to fill.