What do you call a priest who returns stuff to the store?
"Your call is very important to us...
... Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."
I went to an outdoor restaurant earlier, and it started to rain...
Took me 3 hours to finish my soup!
When I was 20, "What am I doing here?" was an important existential question.
Now that I am 66, "What am I doing here?" involves staring at an open refrigerator.