Past Winners

Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"

Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."

Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."

Husband says to his wife, "See you honey, I am off to play Hit and Cuss."

"Hit and Cuss? What's that?" she asked.

He answered, "Well, some people call it golf."

My wife said to me, "How on earth are we going to use 9% less gas this winter?"

"You can stop burning my dinner for a start," I replied.

A husband who has been working out as per his new years resolution says to his wife, "Honey, I think I took on too much for a beginner. I've decided to break up my workout."

"Oh?" his wife asked, "How's the new work-out divided up?"

The husband confidently replied, "Half for you and half for me."