Past Winners

My uncle, a courtroom artist, was arrested last night.

At this posting, details are sketchy.

My wife asked me before going to the hairdressers, "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"

"A power cut" was apparently the wrong answer.

"I don't like insect puns."

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't know, they just bug me."

An actress who suffered from an inferiority complex was complaining to her psychiatrist. "I'm a nothing!" she cried. "I can't sing. I can't remember my lines. I can't dance, I can't even act. I really don't belong in show business."

"Why don't you quit?" the doctor asked.

"I can't," moaned the actress. "I'm a Star!"