Past Winners

Lou: Hey Joe. I know the score of any professional sports score before it happens.

Joe: No you don’t. That’s impossible.

Lou: Wanna bet?

Joe: Okay Lou. What’s the score of the Patriots vs the Rams game before it happens?

Lou: That’s easy. The score of the Patriots vs the Rams game is going to be 0-0 BEFORE it happens.

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

"Yes, that was it!"

"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"

"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."

One raindrop said to another...

"Two's company, three's a cloud!"

What do you call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.