Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed the scale in the corner.
"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one, "don't step on it!"
"Why not?" asked the sibling.
"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!"
A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12.
When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up.”
A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him.
Under his name badge they printed "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented.
The Pastor responded by saying, "I usually am called the 'shepherd of the sheep'... but you know you people better than I do."