Past Winners

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A walkie-talkie.

A man went to buy his wife a new bra but had no idea what size she needed. Sales lady tried to help him. She asked, "Is your wife shaped like a grapefruit?"

"No, not a grapefruit."

"Is she shaped like an orange?"

"Um no, not an orange."

"Is she shaped like an egg?"

Man's face lights up, "Yes, that's it! Like a fried egg!"

Because of a minor infraction, a sailor aboard Navy ship bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined, and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

As July 22 approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me -- but they can't take away my birthday."

The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line -- and it was July 23.

Wife: "I'm pregnant...."

Dad: "Hi pregnant, I’m dad!"

Wife: "No, no you’re not."