Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
My wife packed my bags and told me to leave.
As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!”
I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
An emergency call: "Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!"
Operator: "Where?"
Caller: "No, a regular one!"
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!"
Caddy: "I don't think so, sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!"