Past Winners

8/2/2019 To 8/9/2019
$15.00 won 9 votes

The official glossary to running late...

"On the way..." - Still in bed.

"In the car..." - In the shower.

"GPS says 35 min..." - Getting ready.

"There's traffic..." - Leaving the house.

"Parking now..." - 15 minutes out.

"Can't find a spot..." - 5 minutes out.

"Walking in..." - Looking for a spot.

9 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |
8/2/2019 To 8/9/2019
$12.00 won 9 votes

My neighbor called and invited me over to see his new aardvark.

When I arrived he ask if I would like to play with him?

The aardvark was growling loudly and does not seem very friendly so I ask, "Does it bite?"

My neighbor replied, "That's what I want to find out..."

9 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Egbert" |
8/2/2019 To 8/9/2019
$10.00 won 9 votes

A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.

He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”

When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.

“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”

9 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
8/2/2019 To 8/9/2019
$9.00 won 8 votes

One of the oldest dances popular in D.C. has a new name: The Politician.

"All you have to do is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step, side-step, and turn around."

8 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Benjones" |