Teacher at PTA group meeting one evening...
"All right, class! Let us show your parents and our guests here tonight how much you have learned about patriotism and citizenship. Can any student please tell me why November 3rd is so important and always remembered?"
A small hand is raised in the back... "Yes, Johnny. Please share with us."
Johnny stands up and answers: "That day is so important to Americans and will always be remembered because we won't see non-stop political ads anymore till the next election."
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''
The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''
Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''
The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''
Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''
''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''
Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”
Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup."
They summoned a waiter to complain.
Their waiters looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"