Past Winners

When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."

Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.

Finally, she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"

Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"

In an effort to compete with regional microchip production, the Mayor of St. Paul, MN decided to hold an economic luncheon event.

The caterer arrived with a full stock of mini apples and mini soda.

My doctor advised me to limit red meat in my diet.

So I stopped putting ketchup on my meatloaf.

My wife has been putting glue all over my rifle collection.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.