Past Winners

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in tarnation have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - heck, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes it is," bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!"

Two doctors decided to invest in an Air BnB. Despite all their marketing, they couldn't attract even a single customer.

Eventually, they decided to call their venture "Doctors Without Boarders."

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon...

It never really took off.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well he actually said "less McDonald's", but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.