Past Winners

My wife said to me, "How on earth are we going to use 9% less gas this winter?"

"You can stop burning my dinner for a start," I replied.

A husband who has been working out as per his new years resolution says to his wife, "Honey, I think I took on too much for a beginner. I've decided to break up my workout."

"Oh?" his wife asked, "How's the new work-out divided up?"

The husband confidently replied, "Half for you and half for me."

A chemist's favorite drink is...

CoFe2.

A father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day, and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab.

“What are you working on, son?"

“A universal solvent,” explained his son. “A solvent that’ll dissolve anything."

His father whistled, clearly impressed, then wondered aloud, “What will you keep it in?”