My wife was shopping and sent me a picture of her in a dress she was thinking of buying and asked me, “Does this dress make me look big?”
I answered back, "Noooo..."
Autocorrect changed my answer, to “Moooo...”
Please send help!
Yesterday, I saw a sign at the university that read: "The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people...."
Little Johnny's mother was baking cookies one day. As she began to put a new batch in the oven, she suddenly noticed Johnny staring at the already baked cookies lying on the table.
"Johnny," she said. "Are you trying to take a cookie?"
"No," Johnny replied. "I'm trying not to."
Girlfriend: “Let’s go to Utah!”
Boyfriend: “Why Utah?”
Girlfriend: Because I’m Short and Utah!”