Wife: "I wish I were Juliet, and I had a Romeo..."
Husband: "If you would have been Juliet, I don't think Romeo would've chosen to die."
Where do vehicles go during the summer?
To the carpool!
I always read my wife's horoscope...
To see what kind of day I am going to have.
Jack: "Do you know how long fish should be cooked?"
Jill: "Probably the same as short fish."