Busily texting his girlfriend while hiking along the Colorado River, our fearless trail guide stumbled over a tree root and went flying head-over-heels into a patch of prickly pear cactus.
He tried to shrug off the episode, but for the rest of the expedition, we fondly referred to him as our 'Trip Leader!'
As I was getting in bed, she said, "You’re drunk."
I said, "How do you know?"
She said, "You live next door."
A teacher was telling her class about the importance of dressing warmly in the winter, and to illustrate this, she told them the story of her neighbor's little boy.
"He went sledding without any coat, gloves, or hat," she said. "And ended up with a bad cold. Now, does anyone have any questions?"
A little boy in the back raised his hand. "Who's using his sled now?"
When a man's dog died, he took it to the local Baptist church. He asked the preacher if he could have a funeral service for his much loved pet, but the preacher explained that they didn't do services like that for animals.
The man asked who would and the preacher suggested that the Methodist church up the road would probably give the dog a funeral service.
The man asked, "Preacher, do you think $5,000 would be enough payment for the dog's funeral?"
The preacher relied, "Dearest sir, why didn't you tell me that your dog was a Baptist?"