Past Winners

Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone...

So I threw it in the pool.

Salesman: "Just give us a small deposit, ma'am, and you'll pay nothing for the next six months."

Woman: "I see you've heard of us."

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank-in-Stein.

Two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."

The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair."

Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?"

Her older sister jumped right in. "Don't be stupid, Christina. Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."