Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes!
Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.
Genie: Done! You have no more wishes.
Me: But you said three?
Genie: Well go ahead, sue me.
Me (texting): Are we still on for today?
Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!
At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.
"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."
"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."
I decided to do research on my ancestry and went to a genealogy professional.
First question: "Have you any poor relations?"
"Not any that I know."
Second question: "Have you any rich relations?"
"Not any that know me."