Past Winners

Things You Say After 50:

Where the #$%# is my phone?

How did I get that bruise?

How do they expect you to read that small print?

Where'd I put my glasses?

I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!

Who the heck is calling at 9pm?

The mayor in my city just passed a law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week.

Well, it's not a law, it's more of a mandate.

I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.

I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture, they said “yes.”

Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition...

And finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.