A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" yelled little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" yelled Little Johnny.
A little known fact:
Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can you tell us the story of The Elephant and the Squirrel?"
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't," Aesop replied. "That's not my fable."