Past Winners

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven! Heaven!" yelled little Lisa.

"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.

"Dead!" yelled Little Johnny.

When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men.

He said he couldn't increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them.

I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.

He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.

A little known fact:

Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can you tell us the story of The Elephant and the Squirrel?"

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't," Aesop replied. "That's not my fable."