Little Johnny: "Mom, Dad just backed out of the garage and ran over my bicycle!"
Mom: "Maybe in the future you shouldn't leave it on the front lawn."
I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.
This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
The wife and I were going on a holiday vacation, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television."
She said, "Why, will you get bored?"
I said, "No, the passports are on top of it."
A man and his wife cracked open their fortune cookies.
Hers read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
His read, “Speak while you have a chance."