golf jokes

"Do you know why the golf pro tells you to keep your head down while swinging?"

"No, why?"

"It's so you can't see him laughing."

Robinson Crusoe, the shipwrecked golfer, made the best of his tiny island. When a cruise liner spotted his distress signals and sent a boat to investigate, the landing party was amazed to find a crude but recognizable nine-hole course which the castaway had played with driftwood woods, whalebone and coral putter and balls carved out of pumice stone.

"Quite a layout," said the officer in charge of the rescuers.

"You're too kind, it's very rough and ready," the goatskin-clad golfer responded. Then he smiled slyly, "I am however, quite proud of the water hazard."

Tiger Woods walks into the Masters lobby and asks for a room. The clerk responds, "I am sorry sir we are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road."

Tiger says, "But I'm playing in the Master's tomorrow."

The clerk replies again that they are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road.

To this Tiger says, "But I am Tiger Woods!"

The clerk then says, "Oh! For you it's just a 9 iron then."

What is the difference between golf and politics?

In golf, you can’t improve your lie.