Tommy Bolt, winner of the 1958 US Open, tells the story of an incident he had during one of his golf tournaments. Bolt arrived at the golf course for the tournament and was approached by a youngster, "Mr. Bolt, do you need a caddy, sir?"
Bolt went to the caddy master and asked about the youngster. The man said, "He's a real good caddy, knows the course, the greens, and the rules of the game. But he talks a lot."
So Bolt went back to the youngster and said, "You can caddy for me on one condition, 'Don't say a word.'"
The young man accepted and carried Bolt's bag. The first three rounds went well, and Bolt was in contention in the fourth round, when an errant tee shot landed in the rough. The ball was sitting down in a bad patch of turf, with a difficult shot to the green which was well guarded by water on the right.
Bolt asked his caddy, "You think a five iron will do the trick?" The kid shook his head no, but never said a word.
"What, you want me to hit a six iron?" Again, the kid shook his head no, but did not speak.
Bolt grabbed a six iron and lashed the ball out of the rough and landed on the green, rolling to within three feet of the hole. As they walked to the green, Bolt said, "Aren't you going to say something now, after seeing a shot like that?"
His caddy then replied, "Mr. Bolt, that wasn't your ball."
After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th.
He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.”
The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”
Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes.
Sid offers Barney, "Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game.
After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
"Help me find my ball, you look over there," he says to Sid.
After five minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly.
Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?!?"
"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"
"And a liar, too!!!" Sid says with amazement. "I've been standing on your golf ball for the last five minutes!"