Golfers wear two pair of pants.
In case they get a hole in one.
One day, these two men we're playing a round of golf. Two women were playing in front of them very slowly. The first guy turns to his friend and says, "Hey, I'm going to to ask those ladies if they mind letting us play ahead."
He begins walking over, stops halfway, and returns, saying, "We've got a problem. One of those women is my wife, the other is my mistress."
His buddy replies, "That's okay, I'll go talk to them."
He walks over and promptly returns. "Well," he says, "looks like we've got the same problem."
Four senior golfers hit the course, some of them with waning enthusiasm for the sport.
"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.
"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.
After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"