The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into some other woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he’d noticed that the club pro had been watching. “What club should I use now?” he asked the pro.
“I don’t know,” the pro replied. “What game are you playing?”
A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left.
The first golfer teed of and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.
As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, “How on earth did you do that?”
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”
He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. “Now I’m in trouble,” he told the caddie.
“I don’t know what club to use to get it out.”
Q. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants when he went golfing?
A. In case he got a "hole in one".