Toward the end of a particularly trying round of golf, Jack was the picture of frustration. He’d hit too many fat shots. Finally he blurted out to his caddie, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” replied the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club? He looked at club after club after club. His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?" He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!"
Q. What game encourages drinking and driving?
A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left.
The first golfer teed of and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.
As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, “How on earth did you do that?”
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”