The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Two friends were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in.
They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling. After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked, "Okay, so who was playing with the yellow ball?"
Arnold Palmer is playing in a big tournament and comes to a par 3 which measures 235 yards. After some deliberation, he takes out his 3 iron and smashes the ball 20 feet over the pin and backs it up to within 3 feet of the hole. A fan in the crowd came up to him and said, "Mr. Palmer, how do you make the ball back up like that with a 3 iron?"
Arnold replied, "Do you have a 3 iron?"
The fan said, "Yes sir, I do."
"How far do you hit it?"
"About 160 yards," came the answer.
Arnold calmly said, "What the heck do you want it to back up for?"
A lady was taking her first golf lesson. She asked the instructor, "Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?"
"P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "P-u-t means to place something where you want it. P-u-t-t means, merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."