Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds, which were gathering around.
"Preacher," the organizer said, "I trust you'll see to it that the weather won't turn bad on us?"
Our pastor shook his head. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm sales, not management!"
A son challenged his boastful father to a game of golf. The son was determined to beat his father in golf for the first time.
On the very first swing, the father got a hole in one.
“Okay, nice shot dad," said the son, thinking quickly on his feet. “Now I will take my practice shot and then we will start.”
A land surveyor was tasked with mapping a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes. He needed a stout machete to clear thick brush as he went on. Along the way, he came upon a golf club that an irate player must have hurled into the woods. It was in good condition, so he picked it up and continued on.
When he broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at him in awe. After all, he had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind him was a clear-cut swath leading out of the woods.
"There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who really hates to lose a ball!"
I recently had a stroke and while laying in the hospital bed the phone rang, it was the PGA. This very proper voice said, "Is this Mr Petty?" I mumbled a "Yes." The voice continues, "I have to tell you sir, YOUR HANDICAP HAS JUST GONE UP BY ONE STROKE!"