Me to the postman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte.

Postman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope?

Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me..

My office was so small...

I had to leave the room to change my mind.

Laughter is the best medicine...

Unless you have broken ribs.

Why are cats such good bakers?

Because they make everything from scratch.