Sergeant (to new recruit): What were you before you joined the army?
New Recruit: Happy, Sergeant.
How do you clear an Iraqi Bingo parlor?
Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.
Soldier: Which one is Will?
Sergeant: Private, I think the enemy soldiers are hiding in the wood. I want you to go in there and flush them out for us.
Private: Okay, sir, but if you see a bunch of guys running out the woods, don’t shoot the one in front.