military jokes

Sergeant: Private, I think the enemy soldiers are hiding in the wood. I want you to go in there and flush them out for us.
Private: Okay, sir, but if you see a bunch of guys running out the woods, don’t shoot the one in front.

There was an inn keeper who urgently needed to expand his parking lot due to his business's growing needs.  However, the lot next to his, which he had purchased, was covered with tree saplings and the city had an ordinance against bulldozing trees.  The inn keeper was a powerful man on the city council and was friends with all of its members.  He brought up an amendment to the council to allow him to bulldoze the saplings so he could pave it for his new lot.  Was he successful?

No, the   "infant tree's"   always beat the   "Inn's urgency".

During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degree.

“But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” called out a conscript.

“Don’t be stupid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”

During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response. “You there,” the sergeant shouts, “the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire. Action!” The recruit takes two steps to one side.
“What are you doing, man?” Yells the sergeant, purple with fury. “I’m taking shelter behind an imaginary tree, Sergeant,” answers the recruit calmly.