military jokes
Favorite this joke A private just out of training is assigned to guard the main gate.
He is ordered to allow no one through unless they have the password.
A vehicle with a 3-star general inside rolls up. The private stops the vehicle and asks the driver for the password.
The driver doesn't know the password. The private, after saluting the general, asks him the for the password. The general doesn't know it either.
The private says, “I can’t let you through without the password.”
The general replies, “Son I'm the commander of this base and a 3-star general!”
The private says, “Sir, I still can’t let you pass."
The general tells the driver to drive on through.
The private then says to the general, “Sir I'm real new to this. Do I shoot you or the driver?”
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure thing."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "NO, SIR!"
A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten ISIS fighters."
The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred ISIS fighters.
Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters."
The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought ... then silence. Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men ... it's a trap. There's two of them."
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”
“Thank you very much, sir.”
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