military jokes

A career Army officer I once met was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and after a while, the jumpmaster called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.

"How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn't handle the smooth landing?" asked the jumpmaster.

"Well, sir," one trainee explained, "We've always jumped out of planes. We've never actually landed before."

Two sailors got off their battleship after seven months at sea. As soon as they walked on solid ground they saw a lady walking away from them about fifty yards ahead.

Her long blonde hair caused one sailor to muster the courage to say "hello". As she turned around they could see she was at least eight months pregnant!

The wide-eyed sailor quickly apologized, "Sorry Ma'am, we thought you were alone."

As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you dummies fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.

The Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.

I smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh sir?"

While being transported to basic training, a new enlistee of the Air National Guard accidentally opened a parachute in the rear of the C-47.

The plane was piloted by a major and a captain, and the new enlistee felt intimidated as he opened the cockpit door to confess what he had done.

Expecting to be severely chastised, he was surprised by the captain's calm response. "Well, son," he said, "if this plane goes down, that chute is yours."