As I was eating a piece of Christmas chocolate my wife told me about an article she had read about chocolate.
Seems that the article indicated that for every piece of chocolate one eats that your life is reduced by 2 minutes.
By this standard I figure that I have been dead since 1875.
It was moving day. The previous owners were going to finish moving out that morning, and we were going to start moving in that afternoon.
We showed up just as they were finishing up, around lunchtime. The couple was sitting down for a breather before they left. The wife suggested to her husband that they go to McDonald's for lunch. She told us with guilty pleasure, "I know it's not good for me, but I just love burgers and fries."
Her husband had a somewhat disgusted look on his face. He told us, in all seriousness, "Not me. I'm a meat and potatoes man."
Q: Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He'll dessert you.
"Waiter, it's been half hour since I ordered that turtle soup."
"Yes, sir, but you know how slow turtles are."