food jokes

Yesterday, I ate a clock.

It was very time consuming.

Especially when I went back for seconds.

An old man is sitting at his table in the hotel dining room with a bowl of soup in front of him. He calls the waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.

"Is the soup too cold?" asks the waiter.

"Taste the soup," says the old man.

"Is it too salty?" asks the waiter.

"Taste the soup!" says the old man.

"Is there a fly in it?" asks the waiter.

"JUST TASTE THE SOUP WILL YA!" the old man insists.

The waiter looks down: "OK then...Where is the spoon?"

The old man exclaims, "Aha!"

I'm trying to eat healthy so I'm making some "whole grain" oatmeal cookies. I don't like raisins so I'm substituting them for M&M's.

I think their about the same thing, they both came from plants, right?!?!

After eating his entire meal, an elderly man motioned for the server. When the server approached him, he asked for the manager. He explained he would not pay for the meal.

The manager responded by contacting the police. When the police arrived, they heard the complaint. They responded to the senior, "You need to pay for your meal, Sir."

The man vehemently refused to pay. The frustrated police officer said, "But you ate the entire meal?"

The old man yelled back, "I kept hoping the next bite would be better."