food jokes

Why are bananas bad getaway drivers?

They are in such a hurry to split and they peel out.

You Know You Had Too Much Coffee When
• Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
• You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
• You sleep with your eyes open
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward
• You lick your coffee pot clean
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
• You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
• You can jump-start your car without cables
• Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
• You don't sweat, you percolate

The national vegetation cross-breeding championship was underway, and a couple of ladies were perusing all of the edible fare that were exhibited.

"Look at these strange vegetables," remarked Sally. "Peas cross-bred with carrots, broccoli with corn; how unusual the way they look when farmers do this to our food."

"What are the chances that food as strange looking as these are okay to eat?" asked Mary.

"I think the odds are pretty good," said Sally.

"Well, I think the GOODS are pretty odd." Mary replied. "I'll pass!"