food jokes

I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a Saturday night, I was finishing up the dinner shift at one restaurant and hurrying to report to work at the second place, but I was delayed because one table kept sending back an order of hash browns, insisting they were cold. I replaced them several times, but still the customers were dissatisfied.

When I was able to leave, I raced out the door and arrived at my second job. A server immediately handed me my first order.

"Make sure these hash browns are hot," she said, "because these people just left a restaurant down the street that kept serving them cold ones."

What did the trash compactor say to the wine bottle?

"I've got a crush on you!"

A newlywed couple wanted to invited their friends over for a steak & mushroom dinner. The wife had all the ingredients except the mushrooms. The husband said, "There are plenty of mushrooms growing in the backyard."

"Are you sure?" said the wife. "They could be poisonous?"

The husband replied, "I will give one to the dog and if he is okay, then we can use them."

Sure enough, the dog was given a mushroom and seemed okay, so they used the backyard mushrooms and served steak & mushrooms to their guests. During the dinner, the phone rang and it was their next door neighbor. The wife answered the phone. "I am sorry to bother you dear but your dog is dead."

Frantic, the wife dropped the phone and the couple called 911 and had all their guests sent to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. When she got home, the wife called her neighbor to thank her. "No problem dear, but that car that hit him never stopped!"