food jokes

When eating out, 3 guys will each throw in $20, even though the bill comes out to $31.20. None of them will carry anything other than a $20 bill and none will actually admit they want change back.

When 3 ladies get their bill... OUT COME THE CALCULATORS!

How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste!

A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She had made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they had eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she had polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed.

"What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked.

"He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half."