A customer walks into a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup. The waiter brings it out and there's a fly in the bowl.
"Waiter, this soup has a fly in it," the customer says. "Please bring me another."
The waiter walks into the kitchen and tells the chef, "Another fly for the customer."
A football fan's wife says, "I hate it when my husband calls leftovers 'Replays'."
A TV Executive's wife says, "Well my husband calls them 'Reruns'."
Mortician's wife says, "Count yourselves lucky, my husband calls them remains!"
If we are not to have a midnight snack, then why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
I ate a salad for lunch today! Well, mostly croutons and tomatoes...
Actually one big round crouton and tomato sauce. And cheese...
FINE! It was a pizza. I ate a pizza for lunch!