"Why are you adding cactus to our salad?"
"I heard that cactus stores water in its stem. So I decided to add cactus to make a mouth watering salad."
Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison?
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
While you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it all.