My parents decided to order two pizzas for dinner, planning to use a 50% off coupon for each pizza.
When the bill came, my father handed both coupons to the waitress. She thought for a minute, and held up the coupons side by side.
“Well,” she said, “50 + 50 is 100, so it looks like your pizzas are free!”
Me: "I'll have the french dip."
Waitress: "French Fries?"
Me: "No, I'll Have the FRENCH DIP."
Waitress: (nods) "French Fries?"
Me: "No, I want the french dip. It's a beef sandwich that come with au jous sauce that you can dip it in."
Waitress: "Yes, I know what a french dip is. But would you like french fries with that?"
Me: "Oh. Yes, thank you."
Finally old enough to date, I awkwardly take my first girlfriend to a fancy restaurant where they don't have cheeseburgers or pizza on the menu.
Waitress: Soup or Salad?
Me: Sure, super salad sounds good!
Waitress: Sir, soup or salad?
Me: Yep, super salad sounds good.
Waitress, slightly annoyed: Would you like the soup.... or... the salad?
Me, embarrassed and red: I'll have the salad.