My daughter went to her fast food restaurant and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for minimal lettuce...
He said, "Sorry, but we only carry iceberg lettuce."
What did the egg say to the whisk?
I know when I'm beaten.
"Why are you adding cactus to our salad?"
"I heard that cactus stores water in its stem. So I decided to add cactus to make a mouth watering salad."
Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."