food jokes
Favorite this joke As he paid for our meal with a gift card, my husband noticed the bill was more than the card was worth, so he handed our waiter his debit card to cover the balance.
"Wow, some people might have skipped out and stuck me with the difference," the waiter said. "Thank you for being so honest."
Then, as he took the card, he asked, "Could I see some ID?"
An Englishman says to his friend, the Scotsman, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants.
"I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar. Come 12 o'clock, as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.'”
The Scotsman is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening.”
So the Scotsman books them into a restaurant and come 12 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal.
Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay.
The Englishman just says: "I've already paid your colleague who has left."
And the Scotsman adds:
"And we are still waiting for the change!"
Diner: "Waitress, I don't like all these flies buzzing around my plate."
Waitress: "Don't worry, sir, just show me the ones you don't like and I'll get rid of them."
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes...
Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Free Daily Joke