food jokes

I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

It's my fault. My wife just discovered that she is lactose intolerant and I asked her where she wanted to move to.

She stared at me in confusion.

I explained, "You live in the Milky Way Galaxy."

An Irish toast: May you live as long as you want, and not want for as long as you live.

A French toast: bread, eggs, milk, butter, and maple syrup.

Diner: "These oysters are very small."

Waiter: "I suppose, sir."

Diner: "And they don't look very fresh."

Waiter: "Then I suppose it's a good thing they're so small, isn't it, sir?"

My kids are so open to experiencing culture.

They'll try anything, from chicken tenders at an Indian restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant.