My doctor advised me to limit red meat in my diet.
So I stopped putting ketchup on my meatloaf.
I made soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere...
It was a broth of fresh air!
Did you hear about the angler who baited his hook with peanut butter?
All he would catch was jellyfish!
Upon getting his own apartment, my brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later, she asked him how the mixer was working for him. "Not very good," Terry said, "the potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen."
After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, did you cook the potatoes first?"
To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?"