The Pastor began his sermon with a question to the congregation. "Does anyone know the difference between sins of commission and sins of omission?"
After a few moments of silence a young man spoke up and said, "Sins of commission are things that we have done that were sinful. Sins of omission are sins we should have done but just haven't got around to yet."
St. Peter was working the Pearly Gates one day when a man appeared before him. The man said, "Here I am, let me in."
St. Peter said, "Wait a minute, it isn't that easy. I've got to check in the Book of Life to see if your name is recorded there." St Peter scanned the book and said, "I don't see where you've even done one good deed in your whole life?"
The man said, "That's not accurate. One time I saw six bikers harassing a young woman. I yelled at them to leave her alone. When they ignored me I got a tire iron out of my trunk, charged over there and hit the leader in the head knocking him out cold. I looked around at the others and said, 'When I said leave her alone I meant it. If anyone bothers her again you'll answer to me!'"
St. Peter said, "Wait a minute, I don't see that recorded here. When exactly did this happen?"
The man looked at St. Peter and said, "Just a minute ago."
St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates one day when a man suddenly appeared before him. The man said "Let me in" but before St. Peter could say anything the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said, "Let me in!" Again, before St. Peter could say anything, the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said frantically, "Let me in quick!"
St. Peter said, "Are you playing games with me?"
The man said, "No! They're trying to resuscitate me!"