religious jokes

The priest said to the poor farmer, "If you had a horse, would you give it to the Lord?"

"Yes."

"And if you had a cow?"

"Absolutely."

"And a goat?"

"Sure."

"A pig?"

"Now, that's not fair!" protested the farmer. "You know I have a pig!"

What kind of cheese can you take to church?

Swiss cheese, it's holey!

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a priest when I grow up.”

“That’s okay with us,” she said, “but what made you decide that?”

“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit down and listen.”

One Sunday morning, a wife complained of a bad stomach ache and wouldn't be able to attend the church service, so her husband went alone. When he returned later, he had two black eyes!

When she asked what happened, he explained that when everyone rose to sing a hymn, he noticed the lady in the pew in front of him had her dress tucked into her rear end. Well, being ever the gentleman, he figured she wouldn't want to be seen that way, so he reached forward and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged him in the eye!

"But," his wife said, "how did the OTHER eye get black too?"

He explained, "When she turned back around, I was still a bit stunned, but I thought to myself she must have wanted it there. So I reached forward and gently tucked it back in."