A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change in the pulpit. At home he was shy, quiet and retiring but in the church he was a real fire and brimstone orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he was two different people.
One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.
“Ah,” he said, “that’s my altar ego.”
Leaving church one Sunday, a middle-aged woman said to her husband, “Do you think that Flanagan girl is dyeing her hair?”
“I didn’t even see her,” replied the husband.
"And that skirt Mrs. Fitzgerald was wearing,” continued the wife. “Don’t tell me you thought that was appropriate attire for a mother of four?”
“I’m afraid I didn’t notice that either,” said the husband.
“Huh!” scoffed the wife. “A lot of good it does bringing YOU to church.”
The church council met to discuss the pastor’s compensation package for the coming year. After the meeting the chair of council told the pastor, “We are very sorry, Pastor, but we are unable to give you a raise for next year.”
“But a raise would be helpful,” said the pastor. “I am but a poor preacher.”
“l know,” the council chair said. “We hear you every Sunday.”
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies!
Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said, "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."