religious jokes

The pastor had been warned about a parishioner who was a fast reader.

"We shall now read the Twenty-third Psalm in unison," he announced. "Will the lady who is always by 'the still waters' while the rest of us are in 'green pastures', please pause until we catch up."

One Sunday after services one of the ladies approached the pastor's wife and commented, "What nice buttons you have sewed onto your sons jacket. My husband once had some like that on his suit."

The pastor's wife replies, "Why thank you for the complement. I get all my buttons out of the collection plate."

The minister, meeting a neighbor's son after church, noticed he had a black eye. He put his hand on the boys head and says, "My boy, I pray you may never fight again. And that you will never get a black eye again."

"Thank you," the boy answered. "You may want to go home and pray for your own son too, I just gave him two of them."

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

The pastor shouted out "CROSS." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

The pastor hollered out "GRACE."
The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."

The Pastor said "SEX". The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES".