About a year after her husband died, the widow Smith herself died. When she arrived at the pearly gates she ask if she could see her former husband.
"What's his name? "
"You'll have to give us better identification than that. Maybe his last words? We classify each arrival that way."
"Well, just before he died he said to me, 'Katie, if you ever waste any of my hard earned dollars, I'll turn over in my grave.'"
"Oh, sure we know him. We call him Whirling Joe up here."
The pastor who had accepted an invitation to officiate at the Sunday service in a neighboring towns church. He entrusted the Sunday service at his church to the new appointed curate. Upon his return he ask his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon.
"It was the poorest one I ever heard," was her prompt reply, "nothing in it at all."
Later in the day he saw the curate and ask how he had got along.
"Oh, very well. I didn't have time to prepare my own sermon so I used one of your unused ones."
The pastor and one of his deacons were walking to parking lot on a frosty day after church. The deacon slipped on the walkway and fell flat on his back.
The pastor, after being assured that the deacon was not injured said, "Friend, sinners stand on slippery places."
The deacon looked up as if to assure himself of the fact said, "I see they do, but I can't."