religious jokes

Category: "Religious Jokes"
1 votes

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.

1 votes

posted by "papajon" |
1 votes

A man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?"

God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a second to me."

The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me."

The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"

And God replies, "In a second."

1 votes

posted by "papajon" |
1 votes

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How
is your connection with God?''

And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he
turns it back off.''

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he
needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

And she says, ''That idiot, he's been pissing in the fridge!''

1 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

A priest asked a group of fourth graders in a religious class, "How many of you would like to go to heaven?"

All raised their hands except Johnny. The priest asked Johnny why he didn't want to go to heaven.

Johnny said, "I do, but I thought you wanted to go right now."

0 votes

posted by "jim larkin" |