religious jokes
Favorite this joke What happens when you fart in church?
You have to sit in your own pew.
A Texan dies and goes to Hell. Like with all new arrivals, Satan enjoys messing with the Texan. First, Satan turns the thermostat to 100 degrees with 80% humidity. Satan goes to check on the Texan only to become angry when he sees the Texan reclining in a lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is great! Just like Texas in June!" Satan decides he will turn the thermostat up to 110 degrees and 90% humidity. Satan, then, returns to his new Texas arrival only to see him still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is even better! Just like Texas in July!" Satan is becoming more angry so he decides he will move the thermostat to 120 degrees and 100% humidity. Once again, Satan returns to his new arrival only to see the Texan still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "Oh wow! Just like Texas in August!"
By this time, Satan is really mad. He decides he's going to do a complete turnaround on the temperature in Hell. Satan turns the thermostat to well below freezing. Satan returns to the Texan. Satan is completely shocked by the Texan's reaction: The Texan is whooping and hollering, "Whoo Hoo!!! The Rangers just won the World Series!!!!"
3 young men met one pretty lady after church service. The men decided to introduce themselves. The first man says, I am Joseph but not the dreamer, the second man says I am John but not the Baptist and the last man says I am Abraham but not the father of nations. The pretty lady said hello to her new friends and introduced herself as Mary but not a virgin.
A Nigerian Pastor and his driver died in a car crash and went to heaven. Both of them were welcomed. The angel on duty showed the driver a 3-storey duplex of pure gold and said "this is your mansion". He showed the pastor a small wooden shed and said "this is your dwelling place!"
The pastor was confused. "I don't understand", he said. "Why should my driver get a golden duplex while all I get this wooden shed for eternity? I have been a faithful preacher for several years."
The angel replied, "when you preached, people slept. But whenever your driver drove, people cried to God!"
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